IUI #1

I had the LH surge yesterday, which of course meant calling my RE to see whether she can see me ASAP.  Thankfully, she was able to see me this morning.  A few small follies on both sides, lining 8 mm (from 4mm last week), and  fluid in left ovary.  She also asked that hubs donate his offspring early this morning so that it can get washed.  Things looked good on his end (as always).

Unfortunately, she was not able to catch "THE" follicle if there ever was any.  Although my lining had improved, it would be hard to tell for sure with me being on the Estrogen patch.  This meant that;

a)  I ovulated sometime last night given she could not see any follicle but could see fluid in the L. ovary; meaning the follicle had ruptured.

b)  I did not ovulate, the surge was another false positive and the lining was just thick d/t recent boost from the patch.  In this case, no particular explanation for the fluid in the L. ovary.

She gave me a 60% chance that I ovulated.  Sounds like the weatherman predicting rain or shine when they have ablsolutely no clue of either or, but to hubs and I, this was high enough to give IUI a chance.   She said that she would do the same were she in our shoes.  We decided to go ahead and do the first IUI today.

I guess I can say that I am lucky coz I did not have to take stim medication d/t my high FSH and the fact that I am still ovulating pretty regularly (that is if infact I did ovulate). I would be a poor responder anyways.  So, I did not have to poke  and prod myself or subject hubs to the trauma of poking me.  He is seriously afraid of needles which I think is so funny.  Bear in mind that this is the same guy who can take just about anything,.... a truly manly man...lol

I thought that getting IUI would make me so anxious and worried every single second.... but in all honesty, it put me at a peace I never thought I would have.  Although this puts me into the 2 week wait category, I am not anxious or worried.  I am ready for IUI #2 if that is what it boils down to.  I have to stay positive.  I have to let go of my sense of control.

I think my attending the resolve meeting last night really made a difference for me.  I talked to the ladies who were very candid about their lives, and how they have learnt to deal with the situation by letting go!  I need this like I need a baby.  Just letting go and for me, letting God!  He is the one who knows what my plan is.

They also mentioned how it is important to live this life... this beautiful life.  Something I have not been doing lately given my obsession with all things infertility and POF.  On my way home, I was just so glad I went to the meeting.

I feel grateful today, for being able to do this and for hubs... he was such a champion this week with me going bonkers with the whole ovulation thing.  I am such a lucky girl!  I hope the luck extends in a lil Blessing.  If not this month... hopefully in the future.